“You spent your birthday alone? That’s so sad…”
I burst out laughing, who exactly is it sad for? Surely not me!
My 28th birthday happened this past week and it had to be one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a long time. I had been toying with the idea of spending my birthday alone for about two years but I would constantly back out because I was either too scared or my friends and family would guilt trip me out of it.
Not this year!
I’ve always thought it was so cute how partners would plan birthdays for each other, writing adorable notes, laying out outfits, planning the day from start to finish. This would be a hard task for anyone in my life to accomplish because firstly, I am exceedingly picky and can be very unpredictable on my birthday. Wherever the wind blows I am blowing with it!
This year, after taking my first solo vacay I realised that the idea of spending a birthday alone isn’t too farfetched. The way I see it, I was born alone so can’t I spend my birthday alone? Every day of your life you are with people who demand your attention, your time, your effort, your entire being as a human. It’s draining.
You wake up every day to people – your family.
You go to work and you’re surrounded by people – your colleagues. (I can’t even imagine how much worse this is in an open plan office. I die a thousand deaths just thinking about it.)
You go the mall, the gym, the freaken street – people, people everywhere!
So on a day that is exclusively about me (my birthday) took time to give all of those things to ME and only me. I get to do exactly what I want, on my schedule, do my favourite things, eat my favourite foods and just have time away from the demands of being there for others.
I must say with better planning I could have had even more time to myself and here some reasons why you should try it too:
1 – No disappointments
You don’t have to wait for anyone to knock off work, arrive late or not at all and leave you huffing and puffing in fury at their tardiness. Your celebration starts exactly when you want, you can get yourself precisely the gift you’ve been hinting about and never got. It’s a control freak’s dream!
2 – Reflection and recuperation
I received a lot of “Happy new year” messages as birthday wishes and it made me realised that birthdays are exactly that, a personal new year. You get to start again. You can stop beating yourself up about what you haven’t accomplished and reset.
Bonus: when you’re alone you get to enjoy things like silence which may be a rare gift in a house full of kids or even adults (they can be boisterous too). And you get to do simple things like sleep in (if you’ve booked yourself a vacay) or have that yearlong tension finally massaged out of you
#3 – You’ll be better for others
I don’t know about you but when I’m stressed I am snappy. You could breathe hard and I would want to suffocate you. But when you find a quiet spot to simply exhale, suddenly everyone becomes more tolerable. Now you’re happy to do whatever it is they planned for you even if it’s not what you wanted (you know that “it’s the thought that counts nonsense).
If you are the type of person who needs humans attached to your hip to feel normal, this idea may not be for you. If not, try this out no one can argue with you it’s your birthday and you should spend it however you want and maybe more importantly – how you need it!